Sexy Joks

@ What's the geographical definition of sex? It's an action done by Poland into Holland between Thailand, occasionally with a little help from Greece.


@ A baby boy and a baby girl in a bath tub having a bath.
Girl looks down at the boy and says, can I touch it?
Boy: no way..! You have already broken yours.


@ After the postmortem doctor came home and said to his wife: today is an important day in my life. I saw an 18 inch penis.
Wife: what Joseph is died?


@ Eight years old son: dad what is sex?
Dad gets tensed but explains everything to him.
kid: but dads how do I write all that's in this small box of school admission form.

Christmas image

Sextual SMS

@ Husband come home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoot his friend to death wife said "if you behave like this, you will lose all your friends one day.

@ Ten girls jumped into swimming pool. Suddenly, all water disappears why? New whisper ultra absorbs all water.

@ Biology teacher asked students to draw the female reproductive organ. A girl feels shy and looks down. Boys shouts miss she is copying.

@ A beautiful wife in bed spread her legs wide and asks sardar do you know what I know? Sardar: I know you naughty; you want to sleep alone on entire bed.

@ Aids awareness Logan. 1. Cover your stump before you pump. 2. Protect your ghilli don't be silly.

@ Divorced couple arguing for son's custody. Wife: I gave him birth so he is mine. Husband: if I put coin in cool drinks machine and cool drinks comes, is it mine or machine.

@ Six benefits of girls milk. 1. Cat can't drink. 2. No need of glass. 3. No expiry date. 4. Packed in beautiful container. 5. No need to boil. 6. 1+1 offer. 

@ Which is most difficult sport in the world to watch? Women's doubles tennis- 9 balls bounce at a time and you don't know which one to watch.

@ Lovers went to film; a mosquito enters girl's skirt. Guess where it bites? Naughty mind always think bad, it bites on boys hand.

@ Define breast? B-beautiful R-round shaped E-equipment A-amazingly S-soft with T-tasty milk.

@ You may love your girl friend very deeply, but you cannot express it more than 7-8 inches deeply.

@ Son: Daddy what's the difference between confidence and secret?
Daddy: Dear, you are my son that is confidence. Your friend ramu also my son that secret.

@ Blind boy giving sweet to all. Aunty came from bathroom without dress to get sweets, knowing he's blind. Aunty: what's special? Boy: I got my eyes.

@ Don't marry and make a woman happy infact remain a bachelor and make several women happy.

@ Who's guilty? wife dreams at night suddenly shouts "quick my husband is back" man gets up, jumps out the window and realize" damit i am the husband.

@ Burial worker : Your husband's coffin isn't closing due to his erect sex organ.
Wife : Cut it & put in his ass because that's the only hole in the town he hasn't ucked.

@ What is the difference between a child and an egg? Egg is an result of a sitting hen and cuild is a result of standing cock.

@ Sex is like restaurant, sometimes you get good service, sometimes bad service, sometimes no service and many times you have to be happy with self service.

@ How to activate sex card. Open bra, press nipples, scratch the panty, and insert pennies. A sweet sound will confirm the activation validity nine months

@ Teacher: Write a sentence ending with hand.
Boy: My sex organ in your hand.
Teacher: What's this?
Boy: Oh I forget to put space between pen and is.

@ Which instrument is 7 inches long? Goes in to a wet hole, moves front and back, makes white foam of liquid? Toothbrush!

Sextual SMS

%Boy : Can I touch your software ?

Girl : First show me your hardware.

Boy : Should I install it in your system ?

Girl : Cover it with antivirus and then install.

%Teacher : Write a sentence ending with hand.

Boy: My penis in your hand.

Teacher slapped and asked what is this ?

Boy : Ohh I forgot to put space between pen and is.

%On first night both man and wife claim virginity.

Wife : If this is your first time then how you fucked so well ?

Man : If this is your first time then how you know I fucked so well ?

%A girl enters a sex shop.

Girl : Where is the duplicate penis section?

Clark: It’s there mam .

Girl : How much for this big red one ?

Clerk : Sorry mam , its fire extinguisher.

%Boy : My age is 20 years.

Girl : My age is 20 years also.

Boy : So come to my room.

Girl : Why ?

Boy : To play 20 –20 match.

%Three ladies saw a dog fucking violently.

Dr’s wife : They are enjoying life.

Lawyer’s wife : No it’s a rape case.

Army wife : I think the dog has come on a holiday.

% Why girls are called babes?
Answer: Because they wear nappy pads even when they are grownups.

% Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: Then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: Well, that's not prohibited.

% A girl saw a man full of tattoo. Nike on his arms, Reebok on his legs, she was shocked when saw aids in his sex organ.

 He said: relax when it enlarges, it becomes Adidas.

% Angry husband sent SMS to father-in-law. Your product not matching my requirements.
smart father-in-law: warranty expired manufactured not response.

% A man lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. A woman passing by remarks: if you were any sort of a gentle man, you would lift your hat to a lady. He replied: if you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.

% Boy saw a lady with big breast.
He asked her: Can I bite them for $1000?
She says: Ok they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.
The boy kisses, Licks, puts his face in them, presses them hared for 10 minutes
Lady asks: Aren't you gonna bite them?
He replies: No, it's too costly.

% A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small sex organ decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his sex organ on girl friend hands.
Girl friend: No thanks, I don't smoke.

% A boy comes to class with broken specs.
Teacher: What happened?
Boy: I was kissing my girlfriend.
Teacher: But how did your specs break?
Boy: She closed her legs.

% Wife bought a new transparent bra and wore in front of her husband.
Husband: Honey you look very sexy in this bra.
Wife: You know salesman was also saying same thing.

% Two men searching for their lost wife's.
1st: how does your wife looks?
2nd: 5.9 heights, 36-24-36, fair, blue eyes, sexy, what is yours?
1st: forget mine, let's search yours.

% Judge: why you want divorce?
Man: She does not satisfy me in bed.
Judge: Its true madam?
Lady: Demit, whole colony is happy, only this idiot has problem.

% Aids awareness slogan:
Cover ur stump b4 u pump
dont b silly, protect ur jelly..
AIDS is no joke
wrap b4 u poke
dont be fool
condomize ur tool...

% LadyTeacher: write a sentence ending with hand.
Banta: My penis in your hand. Teacher slapped Banta.
Santa: Sorry mam, I forget to put space between penis.

% Wife bought a new transparent bra and wore in front of her husband.
Husband: Honey you look very sexy in this bra.
Wife: You know salesman was also saying same thing.